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Sign of Times

Updated: May 14, 2022

Never thought Harry Styles' song would bring tears to my eyes....


It helps me through the motional moments when I knew I was losing my sister... And also now when I miss her dearly. I watched the video today and was overwhelmed by the emotions which are awaken by the lyrics and by the images of my sister on the hospital bed.

"Was she afraid?" I asked myself again and again. But she looked so peaceful... "Should I be there at the end?" I asked myself again and again. But I was so broken by the truth that she was losing the battle...

The last time I hugged her in my arms, I told her I really didn't want to leave and promised I would be back next month... She just smiled... The last time I talked to her on the phone, I told her that Randy, Winona, and I loved her very very much... She whispered, "I love you too." The last time I saw her face on the FaceTime, I told her to hold on to the thought of how much she was loved and focus on our voices... She was ready... The last time I dream of her, I hugged her in my arms and told her I missed her so much...

I know I will never stop grieving because I would never stop loving my mother and my sister.


"... You look pretty good down here But you ain't really good .... Just stop your crying It'll be alright They told me that the end is near We gotta get away from here ... Remember everything will be alright We can meet again somewhere Somewhere far away from here

..."


Grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other. -Jandy Nelson


沒想到Harry的歌會讓眼淚流淚.....

當我知道將失去了我姊姊時,它幫助我度過了許多感傷的時刻...... 還有像現在,當我非常想念她的時候。今天我再一次看了這首歌,仍然被它的歌詞和我姐姐在醫院病床上的影像所喚醒的情緒所淹沒。

“她害怕嗎?”我一次又一次地問自己。但她看起來很平靜...... “我最後應該在她身邊嗎?”我一次又一次地問自己。但我被她正在輸掉這場戰鬥的事實傷透了心

最後一次把她抱在懷裡... 我告訴她我真的不想離開,但我答應她我下個月會回來......她只是笑了笑...... 最後一次我在電話裡跟她說話... 我告訴她Randy,Winona和我非常愛她......她低聲說“我也愛你們” 最後一次我在FaceTime上看到她... 我告訴她記得我們多愛她,我告訴她專心聽著我們的聲音......她準備好了...... 上次我夢見她時...... 我抱著她在懷裡,告訴她我非常想念她...

我知道我永遠不會停止悲傷,因為我永遠不會停止愛我的母親和我的妹妹。


“... 你在這裡看起來很不錯 但你並不是很好 .... 停止你的哭泣 沒關係 他們告訴我,結束了 我們必須離開這裡 ... 記住一切都會好起來的 我們可以在某個地方再見面 離這裡很遠的地方 ......“


悲傷和愛是相互聯繫的,你不能只有其中一個。 -Brady Nelson

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